Motherhood

It was 1991, I was pregnant with our firstborn (Jordan).  We had just moved into a house for the first time, having spent our first two married years traveling all over the country.  I was “growing” and had a moment of panic as I looked down at my stomach and thought, “all of this has to get out somehow“. Not really a great time for remembering all the jokes people tell when they see “belly first” woman heading their way. All those jokes came back into my mind….”try to stretch your lip over your head” kind of jokes. Anyway, it was kind of funny what calmed me down. I thought, (as trite as it might sound), “every person on the planet had to come this route.  It’s nothing new.  I’m sure I can do this!” And it’s true isn’t it? Every person on the planet had a mother.

A few weeks later in lamaze class, we heard the previous class of prego women, (who now hold their wee ones) give words of “wisdom” (which was really a tell-all of the horrors they encountered). It was anything but refreshing. I felt like it was bizarre, watching them hold the babies so carefully, and then talking about what they “endured”.  I pledged right then that I would be a positive voice for pregnancy.  I just hated the idea that when you’re pregnant you “have to” waddle, or can’t wear heels, or look like you’re miserable and irritable.  Labor is hard, true, but how can we not focus on that bundle? 🙂

That very night after lamaze class, my water broke and three weeks early Jordan came and everything since has been seen through the lens of motherhood.  And like all difficult things in life, there are stories shared about the difficulties of parenting.  Lack of sleep, lack of wisdom, lack of money, lack of time…you just name it, when parenthood is the thick cloak you wear daily, there are in evitable “lacks”.  If these things line up on the con list, it’s only fair to look on the other column of pros and consider the truth. The list on the pro side is so long, it’s almost silly to try to start naming them off. I smile just perusing the memories, seeing the faces of those who have changed my life the most, and for the better. Jordan, Bethany, Jacob, Joshua and Brooke fill up the pages of my life. They fill it with joy, wonder, and so much love.